Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Stuff.

I think I'm happier as a vegetarian than as a vegan.

At any rate, I could NEVER even think about eating meat, but it's pretty easy for me to think about eating dairy. (Actually, I've had dairy on several occasions since I started this blog and my vegan diet last year.)

But just writing that made me feel horrible and guilty.

Ugh.

(Edit: I should probably write up a whole post about this, because it's been something I've been thinking about for a while. But the guilty part doesn't have to do with other people or what they think. It's just that I think that veganism is probably better for the environment (which was actually my primary reason for the vegan diet) and, of course, for the animals, which has become more important to me as time goes on. But I still really want to eat cheese from time to time. Not a lot of it, not every day, but sometimes-- yes. I feel like this is a case of "the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak". Hence the guilt.)

23 comments:

trina said...

You're okay. You think about what you eat and make informed choices. It doesn't have to be black and white. I think that for the first 9 years of my "veganism" I still ate the occasional slice of cheese pizza, and sort of had a suspension of disbelief policy on baked goods - you know that "this could be vegan" rational?

VeggieGirl said...

no need to feel guilty - it's your own decision, so don't let anyone try to make you feel bad.

Alison Nicole said...

I feel yah girl! I am a vegan blogger, but am not a vegan. I love, love, love vegan food, but from time to time a little dairy is nice. You're alot better off being a vegetarian than a meat eater, and since you are conscious of the dairy you eat, you shouldn't feel guilty!

Connie said...

i get where you're coming from. i admire your efforts to be vegan, but it is hard. until there are more vegan restaurants, awareness, choices in the supermarket and lower prices for vegan staples, vegetarianism is going to be easier. and if you're happier with the option to eat dairy on occasion, go with it. you are far and beyond a very 'aware' person about the world and your impact on it, so don't sweat it and eat some yogurt. its good for you

Ali said...

I have the same 'problem'...I haven't been eating any meat for the past 13 years. I'd like to go totally vegan but maybe it's not the right time yet..I really do enjoy preparing and eating nice vegan food but still...I don't consider myself a vegan, although I have been eating mostly vegan lately, and I must say I really like it! We'll see... ;)

Urban Vegan said...

I admire & appreicate your honesty.

I can't say I miss cheese, even though I used to be one of those vegetarians who said she could "never give up cheese." I didn;t eat much growing up, so I don't miss it too much. And I can;t say that I think eing vegan is harder than being a vegetarian--b/c I find it remarkably easy.

But I can relate, b/c I honestly do miss Snickers bars. Embarrassing former guilty pleasure. But when I crave one--I just try to push it out of my mind with thoughts of why I am vegan--and then I treat myself to something else srumptiuosly vegan--like a slice of Vegan Treats cake.

Hang in there, VV!

Sara said...

I was on and off the vegan wagon for months and months over cheese. It's hard to make the final transition sometimes, and that's ok. Honestly I never "lost my taste" for cheese, I just discovered the Follow Your Heart vegan cheeses. Delicious and melty, I promise you.

For me personally, I also had to get out of the "not allowed to have dairy" mindset. I'm a grown woman and I'm allowed to do whatever I want (as are you); the point is in choosing to consume or choosing not to consume something. Everyone has to make their own choices for themselves, and at the end of the day only the individual can really own or answer to that choice.

Anonymous said...

I have recently become vegan, so I can understand having cravings. I don't know why you became vegan, but if it had anything to do with animals that is why you feel guilty. I would say to rewatch some of the videos that helped you become vegan, or read the books, or look at the internet sites. I grew up eating loads of cheese and now I live somewhere with no access to vegan cheese and I get along. I've started making my own cashew cheese! Giving up just for the taste is a sad excuse.

You can do it! Be strong! I enjoy reading your blog. Sorry if I sounded harsh, but sometimes we all need that.

I have also joined the Vegan Freek Forums, which I find very helpful in getting through any of the rough vegan patches.

Good luck!

vko said...

Hello my dear

Hang in there my friend! I used to love cheese, but honestly, knowing what I know about the dairy industry and the amount of cruelty involved, I can't say that I have ever looked at cheese the same way again and haven't craved it since.

Don't be so hard on yourself- you can only do what you can do.

Though it might help when you are getting a craving to go to a anti-dairy website if you need support, just a thought...

Vegetation said...

I posted something similar to this not so long ago. I am exactly at the same place. For the most part I try to eat vegan. Add a soy allergy (amongst others) to the mix and sometimes there is just no substitute.

I don't consume dairy every day, when I do I'm careful about where it came from.

Don't beat yourself up, there are plenty more of us "guilty vegetarians" out there and my belief is that if everyone in the world kept their dairy eating to a bare minimum (like you do) that the cows would be treated much better than they currently are anyway because there would obviously be a lot less demand.

Anyway, mostly I just wanted to let you know you are not alone.

bazu said...

Hey Anna, you're not thinking/feeling anything that 99% of other vegans don't also feel! I don't know anyone who ever truly disliked cheese, you know?
I think what comforts me is knowing that I have the option of making informed choices, and even more so, that there is no such thing as "perfection". I think 100% vegans who question restaurants about their bread and pasta and avoid all cane sugar and mono- and diglycerides and vaccinations etc. are more fiction than reality. We all try our best. The fact that you care about the environment and the animals, and the fact that you are such a wonderful baker set you leaps ahead of the crowd. {hugs}

Ashasarala said...

I don't miss cheese anymore. But if there is ever a craving or longing, just knowing all the disgusting havoc it wreaks on my innards is enough to scare me away for a long while.

HT said...

have you heard of "the uncheese cookbook"?
check it out!

Heliamphora said...

Sounds like I'm in quite the same boat. I'm not one of them vegans who feel like throwing up if they know they accidentally ate some dairy. My body doesn't seem to crave cheese, but... oh, sometimes it sounds so nice. I'm always thinking of the animals as well as myself, but every now and then I'm a little naughty. *sigh*

thefoodsex said...

i'm with you in this boat. i say that i eat 'mostly vegan' so i can enjoy dairy and eggs every now and then. an all-restrictive diet can feel like a chokehold, but it seems like it's practically shameful to admit, right? especially when you get comments like, "Giving up just for the taste is a sad excuse." yuck.

Pamela & Sarah said...

I'm sorry to say this but that last comment really infuriated me. I'm not a one of those vegans who goes around policing everyone else's life but seriously!
-- "especially when you get comments like, "Giving up just for the taste is a sad excuse." yuck. --
Well, what is a valid excuse then? It IS just for your taste right?! You don't HAVE to eat anything from an animal to be happy and healthy. However, the cow does HAVE to give up it's milk and the calf does HAVE to be shot at birth/turned into veal to satisfy the demand for cheese etc.
I'm sorry but I'm laying down some tough love here! Your everyday choices don't just affect your life - you may have free choice, but the animals don't have any choice at all.
I do agree that it's practically impossible to be totally 100% vegan since so many things we use in our daily lives contain animal products. However, you do have control over the food you buy and consume and I really encourage you (and everyone else) to make the ethical choice.
You've already come so far and should be proud of yourself for that. Stay strong (and reward yourself with some delicious vegan cookies)! :)
Peace and hugs,
S

cristy said...

Weird, I commented on this post back when you first wrote it, but my comments appears to have disappeared...

Anyway, a little late but I just wanted to say not to stress and to just follow your instincts about making informed and thoughtful consumption choices. We all make compromises - striving to be perfect is just too hard. I am sure that you will make the right compromises for you and you really don't have to answer to anyone else.

I try to remind myself that it is not about trying to fit into a box (by being "a vegan"), but rather about a life-long commitment to being mindful about making sustainable and ethical consumption choices.

The Happy Vegetarian said...

You make your own rules, so you can break them ;)

But hang in there -- living according to your beliefs and inspiring others with your blog will outshine any 'guilty' splurge here or there.

Jamie the Foodie said...

wow...lots of comments on both extremes. i'm not a vegan but have a vegan blog, because my husband is a vegan & i am a chef, so i blog about what i cook for us at home. i just have to say that i agree with bazu...nicely stated. but who am i to talk, i eat honey!

kimberly said...

I just came across your post and I wanted to applaud you for your blog. In addition, I think it's okay for you to want to have a taste of cheese every now and then. I used to love cheese--ate it all the time. I have had it maybe once or twice since becoming vegan and I can't say that I miss it. However, I do eat honey from time to time. I became vegan mainly for the environmental reasons as well, and the way I look at it is this: you are doing your part by even attempting to eat anything remotely near vegan/vegetarian. That's more than a lot of people can say. While I don't like comparing lifestyles with others, I think you should still acknowledge that you are contributing to something wonderful.

Anonymous said...

The biggest reason for me avoiding dairy in my vegan diet is that the veal industry thrives as the dairy industry does, remember those calves have to come from somewhere.

I agree with everyone here you are doing something and that is the important thing. What is great is that you are putting up these fantastic recipes that help introduce people to and keep people eating vegan food, you have to add that as a mark for you as well.

Peter said...

Very delicious stuff. I love how they look. This site is lovely. Nice posts and nice arrangements. It reminds me of juicy couture velour

Adrian said...

Those look excellent! I've never made cinnamon rolls. In fact, I haven't had any since becoming vegan. Thanks for the recipe!logo design